Top Ten Don'ts For Parents of
- Don't take the child's behavior personally. Doing this leads
you to lose good interaction and decreases the chance of attachment.
- Don't get into blaming: the social workers, the school, your
spouse, yourself. Concentrating on blaming takes away energy needed
for advocacy for your child and healing for all of you.
- Don't doubt yourself. The hard work, love, and commitment you
have given to the child counts, even if things don't go well all the
- Don't always accept the first diagnosis of your child's
problem. This is especially true if you have a gut feeling it's wrong.
A second opinion is just as important for a child's psychiatric
diagnosis as for a physical diagnosis.
- Don't give up hope of finding help/resources. There are many
helpful organizations out there, "creative funding" to help pay for
- Don't go beyond your limits, take on too much. If you
overstress yourself and get physically ill or have a nervous breakdown
you won't be able to help anyone, not even yourself.
- Don't believe that one person, one couple can't do anything
to make a difference. "The sqeaking wheel gets the grease." If you're
persistent and willing to write lots of letters or make many calls (to
legislators, the media, etc.) you can shake things up, wake people up.
- Don't forget to make and cultivate friendships with those who
- Don't believe you aren't making a difference in your child's
- Don't forget to join ADSG and get
involved in our message forum and begin setting up
your support group.
Originally written by Gail Trenthberth of
ADN, modifed in part by ADSG
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Attachment Disorder Support Group. All rights reserved.
can only be happy when they do not assume that the object of life is happiness."
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