If I let God pierce the shell of what’s buried deep beneath,

I fear a life of Hell and think it will not cease-

To let myself feel pain is a burden I cannot bear-

I hold it in, refrain, and keep from those who dare-

But something is propelling me to seek the truth despite

The beast within I cannot see consuming me with fright-

I feel an inner battle raging within my being-

I simply cannot tattle the flashes I am seeing-

To believe them is unreal- the truth is in the lies…

I try a moment to feel, then quench their feeble cries-

No longer will they hide-the dam is going to break-

Somehow, I must confide to survive it’s mighty wake-

God,

Tell me I’m not insane- my past, it’s closing in-

Make sense of all this pain- don’t take me where I’ve been- It’s easier to think I’m crazy, then tear down lies I’ve built- Memories of truth are hazy- I’m plagued with shame and guilt- Please send someone to hold me, tighter than I can fight, Someone to help me get free, who’ll try with all their might- Help them see like You do, with the heart and not with eyes- Decipher the hidden clues, so that they can recognize The one whom You created, before sin had taken it's toll, Burying me beneath the surface, keeping me from being whole- Amen